Little Booboo Bear and I are not feeling very happy right now :(I'm so homesick that I keep listening to "California, here we come, right back where we started from" over and over again. I'm getting very emotionally drained by everything and anything here... I couldn't concentrate on my reading this morning so I just got ready and went for a walk and headed to the Jardin Public to read. Every other paragraph I had to take deep breaths and tell myself to just simply relax, that I was in a beautiful setting and that in under three weeks I will be traveling to Paris, Rome and Madrid with Ray and Virg. For some reason though... whenever I read there at the Jardin Public some random person always pops out of nowhere and asks what I'm reading. Today it was this old man that almost reminded me of my dad, note that the "almost" part is important... He had these very pale blue eyes that contrasted with his tan skin... it was the paleness of his eyes, the loss of pigment in them that made him seem more elderly and thus seem very harmless... but at the same time they made him seem eerie especially since I hadn't at all noticed him until he was suddenly right in front of me. He made small talk about my book and then the weather and then he asked if I was a student and naturally I said that I was studying in Bordeaux for a semester. He then exclaimed, "oh you're not from Bordeaux?" and then asked what region I was from. I wasn't sure if I heard him right so I replied "what?" since I always get confused when people can't instantly tell that I'm from CA!!! So he then rephrased the question "what region of France are you from?" and in that instant I just got really uncomfortable and strangely really sad. It was the way that he asked the question... in such a friendly way that it made me feel for that instant that I had always lived in France and that my life in America had been nothing more than a dream. I said that I was American and he looked confused, as if I was confused about who I was... I put my book away and said good bye and good day to the man and as I walked away I felt that I was someone else saying good bye and good day to my dad.
Nothing here looks unfamiliar anymore and that makes me feel that I've been here... in far, far away land... much longer than I really have.
3 comments:
I'm sorry to hear you're having so much trouble... The Jardin Public has been one of my favorite places here in France. Hopefully things will start looking up soon.
On a lighter note, that's impressive that he thought you were French! Definitely something to be proud of. See you in class!
HEY MISTER! Look on the bright side of life. You will not be there forever. I know you are über homesick. You can take the man outa CA BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE THE CALIFORNIAN OUTA THE MAN!!! and YOU THE MAN!!!
I'm sorry I keep missing your calls. Please email me and tell me when you might call me so I can be there for you. I have been saving all your messages. To be honest life seems pretty dull and down here so you are lucky to be escaping the crap!!!
awww this made me a bit sad
-Kat
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